Successful cross-cultural living is essentially a state of mind that I find myself drifting in and out of depending on my own ability to let go and enjoy the ride. This week I had the privilege of helping an old friend, one of the first people I met when I moved to Tunisia, prepare her wedding "on the fly" meaning they decided the date of the wedding only 20 days or so before the wedding. I offered to do her flowers....lavender and cala lilies were what she was dreaming of. Lucky me, I just bought a pot of lavender at a local nursery and I knew they had loads and I also have a relationship with a florist who ALWAYS has cala lilies and I knew she would give me a good price. Easy...in the bag...one stress off the bride's plate and happy to help. This was 2 weeks before wedding day, the orders were placed at the plant nursery and at the florists and I thought little about it.
The day before the wedding I went to the nursery first to pick up the lavender. No lavender. But wait, I argued with the clerk, I placed an order and they promised it would be delivered today. Sorry she said, maybe later today. "Look, I need to know now if I can count on this order or not because if not, I have to find another solution, this is for a wedding and it can't wait." The lady shrugged and finally decided to actually call her supplier. The supplier informed that there was no lavender and none would be coming today. I begged the woman "can you find any solution, lavender is the bride's favorite flower in the whole world, and she's picked all her decor based on having lavender in her bouquet." Now this girl was very creative and I have to give her credit for her solution. "You know what you do" she says to me, "If you go to the center of town between the grocery store and the bank you will find a giant lavender bush, I just saw in the other day, just cut the lavender from there." "But who does it belong to?" I asked. "It belongs to God." Nice....I guess this is going to go on the list of weird things I've done in Tunisia, stealing bridal flowers from in front of the grocery store.
On to the florist's...who three days before had hundreds of gorgeous cala lilies. I arrive, no cala lilies At this point I'm beside myself, "But I placed an order with you!" "Sorry, we didn't get a delivery." At this point I am thinking....I have to find a solution, there is no way I'm calling the bride about this and stressing her out when she has so much going on. What can I do? Thankfully Dhouha, one of my dearest Tunisian friends, was with me and she thought of an idea; we would travel out of town to a plant nursery she knew of, apparently they supply the other nurseries. But first to handle the lavender. Our source had told us that one of us should wait in the car fo a quick get away. I decided to not involve Dhouha in my crime and so I went alone. A punk kid with a sideways baseball cap sat on a broken metal chair near the lavender bush. "Are you the guard of this building?" I asked him. He answered sarcastically, "Sure, I'm the guard, I'm the guard." Realizing he probably wasn't the guard but that I would have to go on his permission I asked him if I could cut the lavender...of course, take what you want he said. So, I jumped the hedge around the lavender and started to cut my bucket full. Passer-byes started to stare and one man even said, "It's forbidden, it's forbidden." But I was in the determination zone, I had to get the bride's flowers and I had permission from a random plant seller and this "guard" to do so. Lavender cut, off on our excursion to the plant farm.
Talk about prehistoric gardens. We arrived at the nursery and I was in awe of the trees that must have been thousands of years old. Everything was in a bit of disarray and although Dhouha assured me she had just purchased flowering cala lilies from this spot there were none to be found. The sympathetic workman told us they were out but that he could call in an order from a neighboring farm. He did but we had to wait about 40 minutes for the lilies to be brought over. By this time I had spent the whole morning I had scheduled to actually make the bouquets running around trying to chase down the materials. My frustration was running over but then...breathe....we were in this gorgeous garden dating back to who knows when. It was spring time, Dhouha's 5 year old son was chasing butterflies. Look where I am...look who I am with... a dear friend who has been with me through ups and downs over the past 10 years and who was willing to spend her day helping me with this situation. Okay, I can breathe, and this is just a small diversion in a day...what else do I have to do? Success! Twenty gorgeous cala plants were delivered and we loaded them up. Now not only will I be making bouquets, my garden will have calas...for next time.
For those of us from the busy West cross-cultural living is an invitation to discover being not doing. While I don't know if I will ever completely be able to let go of my own need for efficiency, when I let go just a little and enjoy the journey I discover so much 1. That you can pick flowers from in front of a bank here and no one will bother you and 2. Found the oldest plant supplier in Tunisia....also discovered they filmed a famous Tunisian TV show there which Dhouha was excited about and got tips from the workman about my lawn while waiting. Didn't expect those lessons to be rolled into my job of doing Hanen's wedding bouquet.
